**Fried Rice**

Still on MC. Mood is like roller coaster! Suckz big time. Seems like the invisible rock is getting bigger and heavier. Really feel devastated. I have done it before but now seem like not getting smoother for me. What has happen to me now???!!! Seems like I have "ben kui". Even my body start to give me problems.

Called fried rice today. Feel much better after toking to fried rice. You are good! Thank for your "jin yu liang yan". If you are not firmed enuff, think you would have been brainwashed by me. Really admired your spirit and determination. Now I noe what make you up there.

Yes! I need to get a grip of myself and find back the Confi of me. If this continues, sooner I will resort to leaving which is something that I do not wish to admit defeated. No WAY!

But then back to reality, things are easier to be said than done. What shld I start to do leh? What did I do last time tat made me up there? Did I say something right that time and not right thing this time?

I always believe that no matter how times are tough, I still want to make it happen.

**1 after another**

Beginning of 2009 seem to be a bad start for me.

1) Never hit my target

2) Granddad say bye-bye

3) Pro-rate still never hit

4) Had eye infection for 3 weeks and still not recovering fully yet!!!

See, first is my right eye got infected. It is so red and swollen.

Next, it spread to my left eye and started tearing blood. Horrendous!!!

Went to see 5 doctors, finally the last doctor whom I consulted managed to give me eye drops that stop the redness and swellings. He said that this is Conjunctivitis (commonly called "pink eye" or "Madras eye") is an inflammation of the conjunctiva (the outermost layer of the eye and the inner surface of the eyelids), most commonly due to an allergic reaction or infection.

Redness, irritation and watering of the eyes are symptoms common to all forms of conjunctivitis.
Acute allergic conjunctivitis is typically itchy, sometimes distressingly so, and often involves some lid swelling.

I hope this would be the last for 2009.... Hopefully the ups will be on its way.